Hello Memory Partners!

If you’re reading this, you are probably already aware that we have changed our website so that you no longer need to log in to access information! We hope this makes it easier for you to take advantage of the wealth of information here.

Sizzin’ Summertime

It’s that time of year – watermelons are ripe, corn is knee-high, and crowds filling up local beaches! We hope you too are enjoying your summer. We thought it would be good to share some tips for a safe summer season.

Many of us in coastal communities like to spend more time outdoors during the warmer months. This is great for getting much needed fresh air, exercise and vitamin D. However, outdoor activities in warm months also puts us at risk for health concerns like dehydration and sunburn.

If you’re caring for someone with a dementia-related illness, you are probably noticing changes in their thinking including poor safety awareness and loss of memory. As a caregiver, it will be important to remind the person you are caring for to apply sunscreen, wear a sun hat, and drink plenty of liquids. Also, brain changes can alter a person’s ability to plan, and you may notice that they put on clothing that may be too warm as temperatures soar. Trying a gentle nudge to encourage them to wear something lighter may help avoid heat related health concerns.

Ambiguous Loss – an emotional phantom

Ambiguous loss is a term coined by Pauline Boss, PhD in the late 1970s. It can be defined as a loss that occurs without a significant likelihood of reaching emotional closure or a clear understanding. Dr. Boss asserts that this can occur in two ways. In the first scenario, a person is present in our minds, but physically gone. This can occur when a loved one is deployed in the military, when a child moves out of the home, or when someone goes missing. The other scenario is more applicable to Memory Partners, and that is when someone is physically present but cognitively absent or different. Examples of this would be someone in a coma, or someone who has experienced brain changes to the degree that it changes personality and thought processing, significantly impacting the person’s relationships.

The word ambiguous is important – this indicates that the loss we feel is abstract and difficult to define. Unlike a sudden and final loss, like a job loss or a death, these losses can occur and change over time, leaving us struggling to identify the loss and the grief we feel as a result. Because it is so difficult to “put a finger on it,” we often don’t recognize what we are feeling as grief.  It may come across as anger, frustration and resentment.

In a TED Talk about embracing ambiguity, Natalie Bowker, LMFT, suggests coping by naming our grief, and then dealing with it. She even encourages us to throw ourselves a pity party – go ahead and cry about it. Schedule time to grieve. And then try to put it aside, so that it doesn’t overtake our lives.